Fall weather is back! No, really. I'm reasonably kinda sorta somewhat maybe sure this time...I guess. Either way, it's pumpkin pickin' season, our wallets are tight...so we've gotta make the most of our gourding time.

Be sure to not pick a dud. Here's how...

5 Tips For Pickin' the Perfect Pumpkin

Photo by Ksenia Yakovleva on Unsplash
Photo by Ksenia Yakovleva on Unsplash
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These tips are not intrusive, so leave the carving knife at home, Greg. Also of note: these tips are to find the perfect carving pumpkin for jack-o-lanterns. Pumpkins for pie are different. Or not. You do you, boo...

#1: Hüsker Dön't if you find (Bob) Mo[ü]ld

  • Check for soft spots and mold. A little gentle poking will find any soft spots. Check underneath the pumpkin and give it a gentle push. If it gives, it ain't fresh.

#2: Hard to Handle (now, gets around)

  • Is the handle/stem intact? If it's a dark green, that means it was picked recently. If it's brown, put it down.

#3: A Shell of My Friend, Just Flesh and Bone

  • Tap the pumpkin. If it sounds Hollow, it'll be easier to STAB IT AND CARVE IT UP

#4: All in All You'll Want a Pumpkin with a Flat Wall

  • Pumpkins with flat walls and shallow ribs make for better carving. Tall, oblong gourds are more difficult to cut because of their stringier flesh. Flesh? Flesh.

#5: Don't Have a 19th Nervous Breakdown, Just Set it Down

  • Set that gourd on a flat surface. If it sits upright and doesn't lean to one side, you have a winner! Unless you're looking for a lean-y pumpkin.

If all that you see is absolute horror (meaning that you've found the One), carry that guy from the bottom or totes ma-goats it in a bag. Carrying it by the stem is for Smashing Pumpkins.

New York City Ballet 2024 Fall Fashion Gala
Despite all my rage I can always just burn some sage (Getty Images)
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H/T: The Kitchn

What Do Different Color Pumpkins Mean?

Orange may be the most popular color of pumpkins during the fall season, but you'll more than likely spot a variety of colored gourds on doorsteps in the fall. And yes, they all have a meaning behind them. Good Housekeeping breaks it down:

Gallery Credit: Danny V

The Smashing Pumpkins albums ranked

From classics like Siamese Dream to their most recent album Atum: A Rock Opera in Three Acts, see our ranking of the Smashing Pumpkins' discography below.

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