When the 2022 Golden Globes nominations were announced, we proposed a thought experiment: If someone holds an awards show and it’s not televised and people don’t show up for it, does it still exist?

Well, the answer is ... sort of. The Golden Globes were announced yesterday, although without the usual glitz and glamour of a red carpet and celebrity presenters and attendees. After a year of scandal and controversy, NBC canceled their annual broadcast of the Globes, leaving the group to announce their winners basically on Twitter — where they had some truly strange moments, like promoting West Side Story’s win for Best Musical or Comedy with a tweet hailing “If laughter is the best medicine @WestSideMovie is the cure for what ails you.” Ah yes, the cure for what ails you is a belly laugh brought about by the timeless comedy [checks notes] West Side Story. 

(The Globes later deleted that tweet and replaced it with one that read “If music is the best medicine @WestSideMovie is the cure for what ails you,” because as we all know and say all the time, music is the best medicine for what ails you.)

The top winners on the film side were Jane Campion’s western The Power of the Dog and the aforementioned laugh riot West Side Story. The big TV prizes went to Succession and Hacks. As for what this means for the Oscars, these awards typically get a lot of attention, and thus can be seen as a potential influencer in the Academy Awards. But if no one watches the show, and the only thing people talk about are how bizarre the group’s tweets were, I’m not sure the Globes will serve their same role as a key precursor.

The full list of 2022 Golden Globes winners is below.

Best Motion Picture, Drama

Belfast
CODA
Dune
King Richard
The Power of the Dog - WINNER

WEST SIDE STORY
Fox
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Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

Cyrano
Don’t Look Up
Licorice Pizza
Tick, Tick … Boom!
West Side Story - WINNER

Best Director, Motion Picture

Kenneth Branagh, Belfast
Jane Campion, The Power of the Dog - WINNER
Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Lost Daughter
Steven Spielberg, West Side Story
Denis Villeneuve, Dune

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture

Paul Thomas Anderson, Licorice Pizza
Kenneth Branagh, Belfast - WINNER
Jane Campion, The Power of the Dog
Adam McKay, Don’t Look Up
Aaron Sorkin, Being the Ricardos

Being the Ricardos
Amazon
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Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Jessica Chastain, The Eyes of Tammy Faye
Olivia Colman, The Lost Daughter
Nicole Kidman, Being the Ricardos - WINNER
Lady Gaga, House of Gucci
Kristen Stewart, Spencer

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

Mahershala Ali, Swan Song
Javier Bardem, Being the Ricardos
Benedict Cumberbatch, The Power of the Dog
Will Smith, King Richard - WINNER
Denzel Washington, The Tragedy of Macbeth

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Leonardo DiCaprio, Don’t Look Up
Peter Dinklage, Cyrano
Andrew Garfield, Tick, Tick … Boom! - WINNER
Cooper Hoffman, Licorice Pizza
Anthony Ramos, In the Heights

20th Century
20th Century
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Best Performance By an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Marion Cotillard, Annette
Alana Haim, Licorice Pizza
Jennifer Lawrence, Don’t Look Up
Emma Stone, Cruella
Rachel Zegler, West Side Story - WINNER

Best Supporting Actor – Motion Picture

Ben Affleck, The Tender Bar
Jamie Dornan, Belfast
Ciarán Hinds, Belfast
Troy Kotsur, CODA
Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Power of the Dog - WINNER

Best Supporting Actress - Motion Picture

Caitriona Balfe, Belfast
Ariana Debose, West Side Story - WINNER
Kirsten Dunst, The Power of the Dog
Aunjanue Ellis, King Richard
Ruth Negga, Passing

Warner Bros.
Warner Bros.
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Best Original Score, Motion Picture

Alexandre Desplat, The French Dispatch
Germaine Franco, Encanto
Jonny Greenwood, The Power of the Dog
Alberto Iglesias, Parallel Mothers
Hans Zimmer, Dune - WINNER

Best Original Song, Motion Picture

“Be Alive,” King Richard
“Dos Oruguitas,” Encanto
“Down to Joy,” Belfast
“Here I Am [Singing My Way Home],” Respect
“No Time to Die,” No Time to Die - WINNER

Encanto
Disney
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Best Motion Picture, Animated

Encanto - WINNER
Flee
Luca
My Sunny Maad
Raya and the Last Dragon

Best Motion Picture, Non-English Language

Compartment No. 6
Drive My Car - WINNER
The Hand of God
A Hero
Parallel Mothers

Best Drama Series

Lupin
The Morning Show
Pose
Squid Game
Succession - WINNER

Netflix
Netflix
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Best Musical/Comedy Series

The Great
Hacks - WINNER
Only Murders in the Building
Reservation Dogs
Ted Lasso

Best Television Motion Picture

Dopesick
Impeachment: American Crime Story
Maid
Mare of Easttown
The Underground Railroad - WINNER

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Drama

Uzo Aduba, In Treatment
Jennifer Aniston, The Morning Show
Christine Baranski, The Good Fight
Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid’s Tale
Michaela Jaé Rodriguez, Pose - WINNER

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy

Hannah Einbinder, Hacks
Elle Fanning, The Great
Issa Rae, Insecure
Tracee Ellis Ross, black-ish
Jean Smart, Hacks - WINNER

Netflix
Netflix
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Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television

Jessica Chastain, Scenes From a Marriage
Cynthia Erivo, Genius: Aretha
Elizabeth Olsen, WandaVision
Margaret Qualley, Maid
Kate Winslet, Mare of Easttown - WINNER

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Drama

Brian Cox, Succession
Lee Jung-jae, Squid Game
Billy Porter, Pose
Jeremy Strong, Succession - WINNER
Omar Sy, Lupin

Netflix
Netflix
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Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy

Anthony Anderson, Black-ish
Nicholas Hoult, The Great
Steve Martin, Only Murders in the Building
Martin Short, Only Murders in the Building”
Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso - WINNER

Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television

Paul Bettany, WandaVision
Oscar Isaac, Scenes From a Marriage
Michael Keaton, Dopesick - WINNER
Ewan McGregor, Halston
Tahar Rahim, The Serpent

Best Supporting Actor, Television

Billy Crudup, The Morning Show
Kieran Culkin, Succession
Mark Duplass, The Morning Show
Brett Goldstein, Ted Lasso
O Yeong-su, Squid Game - WINNER

Best Supporting Actress, Television

Jennifer Coolidge, The White Lotus
Kaitlyn Dever, Dopesick
Andie MacDowell, Maid
Sarah Snook, Succession - WINNER
Hannah Waddingham, Ted Lasso

The Most Absurd Golden Globes Nominations

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