Early Riser’s Prayer

A lot of people ask us morning show people what time we get up in the morning.  For my co-host Cathy, it's about 3am.  Luckily as a guy, I can get away with waking up at 4:30.  It's definitely the toughest part of my job, besides drinking a lot of coffee, I've also decided to come up with a Early Riser's Prayer.

Dear Lord,

Please above all else, let their be coffee always available.

Please look down on me when I set my 3 alarm clocks, to make sure I set them correctly.

Please prevent any flat tires from happening overnight on my vehicle.

Please help the kid sleep soundly without nightmares, so I can sleep through the night and get my full 5 hours of sleep.

Please keep the cat healthy and free of stomach problems, so I don't have to step in cat puke when I wake up on my way to the shower.

Please keep my friends from calling me after 10pm, and help them see that I'm still their friend, even if I don't go out with them after 9pm on weeknights.

Please help me deal with the pain of my eyes burning in the shower, and help me keep them open on the drive to work.

Help me stay awake during meetings at work, and if I do fall asleep, wake me before I start snoring.

Lord, give me clear vision so I quit putting shirts on inside out in the morning.

And Lord, please give me the strength to save money, and one day retire, and be able to sleep in until 6:30 for at least a few years before I die.

Amen.