Yesterday I had the day off and I had a little bit of a honey to do list.  My wife had asked me to fix the toilet, since it was leaking somehow.  GROSS!  I ended up taking the old toilet out and running to Menards and buying a real man's toilet.   Here's why you need a big boy toilet, fellas.

1.  Sits 1.5" higher than standard. We are not bears who need to squat to do our business, and sometimes that's what it feels like when you sit on a little toilet.  Plus, when you get older, it's easier to get up.

2.  Elongated Seat. Men, you don't have to tuck your business in.  There's plenty of room.  And as my friend Tom pointed out, how many other guys have tucked their business in and rubbed on that same round seat?  Makes you think twice about who you invite over.  With the elongated seat on the big boy toilet, you don't need to worry!

3.  It flushes a bucket of golf balls. That's what the box says anyway.  It can flush a bucket of golf balls.  That's amazing!  So apparently if you had to get rid of some golf balls while the police are knocking down the door with a search warrant... and those golf balls were the murder weapon, no problem.  You can get rid of the evidence!

4.  Slow close seat. This is pretty cool too:  the seat never slams.  It has a slow close function so it just gently closes.  That's great when you have a 4 year old who often slams the toilet seat at 4 am.

5.  Every man deserves a throne. It is so much more dignified to sit on your big boy toilet and reign over your kingdom.   If only for a few minutes of peace and quiet on your big boy toilet.