It's the most wonderful time of the year and when it comes to gift giving in the Northland, it can be the most predictable time of the year. 

As you gather with your family this year for holiday celebrations, see how many receive the following Christmas presents:

 

  • 1

    A flannel shirt

    After we're all long gone and aliens come upon the Northland and go through our things, they will be convinced that we were all lumberjacks.

    A flannel shirt is the old standby gift that works for those you love and for that relative you barely know and always seems a bit "off".

    *Upon gift opening, for every reference to how warm it is you must do a shot (two shots if they comment on how much they love the color).

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  • 2

    A bottle of booze

    You know how I mentioned aliens landing years after we're gone and thinking we were all lumberjacks (totally could happen)?  Let me amend that to say that these aliens will think we were all drunk lumberjacks, which really are the best kind.

    We are from the Northland, we appreciate our liquor.  There's no shame in that, in moderation of course (wink, wink).  Plus, you can buy liquor that you love for someone under the guise of wanting them to try it, when you really hope they'll open it on the spot and you can take over the bottle.

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  • 3

    A pair of wool socks

    Nothing says I barely know you or I spent too much time at the liquor store looking for a present I hope to enjoy than a pair if drab, itchy wool socks.

    Sure, there will be comments on how warm they look and how much so and so had been meaning to buy a pair.  But, the fake smile paired with a cold, dead stare similar to the shark in "Jaws" will reveal the truth:  this gift is an itchy turd.

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  • 4

    Ice scraper

    You open the gift bag, excitedly pull out the tissue and what to your wondering eyes should appear?  An ice scraper.  You smile and say something like "this will come in handy!", or "I've needed a better one".  They will say how much they love theirs and how well it works.

    Reality is, they don't own that one.  They forgot to get you a present and the gas station was the only thing open on the way to the party.  They had to choose between that ice scraper, a "Beer Me" can koozie or a bag of Corn Nuts.

    That tissue in the gift bag?  Kleenex.

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  • 5

    A blanket

    We live in a cold area and just about any store in the Northland features blankets.  They can be fleece, down-filled or anything in between and chances are someone at your Christmas gathering will get one.

    These are functional gifts that are a step up over wool socks.  Big, soft, warm blankets are the comfort food of Christmas gifts.

    Also, anyone with kids or pets knows you can never have enough of them.  Chances are your favorite one has already gone missing in a kids room or has been tainted due to your dogs anal gland issue.  Keep the blankets coming please and Merry Christmas!

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