I've kept track of my wife's pregnancy from the beginning right her on my blog, and now we are nearing the end.   At any minute, I could get the phone call that labor has begun.   I've ran through everything in my head of what could happen.   How it's going to go down.   Here are 10 things I'm unrealistically convinced could happen.

1.  The baby will fall out at home, labor will begin and the baby will come before I can get her in the car and I will have to deliver the child.   I can't do this.

2.  The elevator will get stuck once we get to the hospital and I will have to deliver the baby in the elevator.

3.  Both the bridges could collapse and I won't be able to make it to our hospital.

4.  I will have a heart attack from the anxiety of it actually beginning to happen.

5.  Both of our vehicles won't start when the time comes.

6.  A zombie outbreak will come at the exact time of labor beginning.  (Thanks Walking Dead.)

7.  Once on the way, we will get into a traffic accident and I will have to walk her all the way to the hospital, or deliver it myself.

8.  I'll pass out in the hospital, forever shaming myself.

9.  I'll say something stupid, and forever shame myself.

10.  I'll be of no help.

I've been reassured from friends that once everything happens I'll jump into action in a calm collected way.  I'm hoping that will happen, and I do take charge in stressful situations.   It's just the anticipation that I absolutely suck at.   Any day now... any day!